what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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