The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
