very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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