when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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