Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
