I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
