is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
