if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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