did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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