I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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