my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
