i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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