so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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