If i come over, it means nothing
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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