Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize