Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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