Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
