dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I touched a dick in church today
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
