at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
