I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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