Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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