btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
