I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
These tits shall not be calmed
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize