Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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