no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
