i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
