i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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