That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
