It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize