So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
