i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
