my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
