He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
