the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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