Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
