Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
