Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
