yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
