Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
