Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
