I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
