is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
