So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
