Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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