Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
COCAINE IS GR8
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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