How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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