I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you will always have a special place in my vag
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You are a genius and a whore.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
