he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
