Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
