Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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