i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
