it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm at about main and main street
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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