You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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