Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
