So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
